elephant

ELEPHANT JOKES

There was an old man in France who used to get up every morning at five A.M. He would then go and sprinkle a white powder on the roads.
When he was asked what he was sprinkling on the roads, he answered that it was elephant powder.
The person then remarked "But everybody knows that there are no elephants in France!" to which he answered "I guess it must be working then!"
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It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the jungle so the Elephants decided to challenge the Ants to a game of soccer. The game was going well with the Elephants beating the Ants ten goals to nil, when the Ants gained posession.
The Ants' star player was dribbling the ball towards the Elephants' goal when the Elephants' left back came lumbering towards him. The elephant trod on the little ant, killing him instantly.
The referee stopped the game. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Do you call that sportsmanship, killing another player?"
The elephant replied, "Well, I didn't mean to kill him -- I was just trying to trip him up."

Getting anything done around here is like mating elephants.
It's done on a very high level.
There's a lot of stomping and screaming involved. And it takes two years to get any results.

A woman went to see a psychiatrist and complained, "Doctor, my husband thinks he's a magician."
"What's so bad about that?" the shrink asked.
"We're being sued. A week ago my husband shoved a girl into a trunk and sawed it in half."
"The girl's family is suing you?" the psychiatrist asked.
"No, the circus," the woman replied. "The elephant bled to death."

Telephone Joke:
"Hello, this is your local Zoo speaking. Do you like animals? We are experiencing severe problems with hot water. Would you be so kind as to allow us to bring our elephants over to your bathroom for a shower?"
The most common response: "Well, sure, but my neighbour's bathroom is bigger and better equipped to handle elephants."